To Teams
by bommimg
Summary: Why did Kakashi have to be the last one of all his teams to live. He had three, surely it shouldn't end this way.


To Teams

The memories batted at him, made him want to drink himself into a stupor... or just knock himself out with a hammer. He looked again at the memorial stone, where three names were etched that he cared about. The same three from over seventeen years ago. Two new ones that he cared about weren't here. One would never be, the other... well, she would be added when the war was over.

Cold kept seeping into him, but the bi-eyed jounin ignored it with years of practice. He was approaching his seventh straight hour at the stone. He briefly thought about trying to surpass his old record of over three days, but cast it aside. He needed to teach, go see his team, his new one.

Ah, his second true team. He was attracted to weirdos, Kakashi knew that. The Gods were toying with him, giving him the ones that so reminded him of his old teams, both the ones he lead and was leaded.

He vowed to think more about his new teams as individuals this time though. Thinking team 7 was like his old team made both a self fufilling prophecy, and alienated students, ungrateful to be lumped into the shadows of other people. Especially ones with dark ends. Especially ones that still influenced Kakashi so profoundly.

Shimuru was a bright boy, but endlessly incessant. He had he quality of Obito and Naruto to chatter endlessly, but unlike his Kakashi POV-ed predecessor, Shimuru understood the value of chatter, both endless and empty, annoying, small talk, and for missions, for trust built in minutes and lives. And his understanding probably was a reason he talked so much. He needed to keep his skills sharpened, potent.

As such, he was basically useless in battle. He could talk with Kakashi, take a joke, never be serious or keep score, keep his cool. A nice future as a spy was in his future, and when Shimuru would come back to Konoha for redeployment, they would banter, go to restaurants as a team, and have a good time, all the while Kakashi would harass Naruto and fudge paperwork to make it harder for him to go back out to work, giving plenty of time to visiting. And who knows, he may be the first of Kakashi's precious people to have a family for a long time. Goodness knows he could flirt, and he had been eyeing(and fucking) a nice civilian girl for quite awhile now.

Then there was his new Rin, and Sakura. Hiuma was a nice girl, however was unlike Sakura, or any of the other girls that Kakashi knew well. She wasn't violent, never hitting a comrade, and almost as rare an enemy. He was setting her up for a hospital position, med-nin, like Sakura. Kakashi smiled at her great chakra control and simple smile, with no punching or kicking. She always smiled back at him, and she and Kakashi got along great.

She would be regulated to a med-nin with no problem, and would have a nice career that would allow her to visit often. He had no worries about her, and was happy to just banter with her. A quiet and non-fatal life. One that Kakashi would have chosen for himself had he been given a second chance. She would have a family someday to Kakashi hoped, though probably later than Shimuru, as no one had caught her eye at fifteen already. Kakashi enjoyed the thoughts of having her as a nice simple friend that he could chat with.

The last one was the least like his past of Sasuke and Kakashi himself. Donyu was quiet and solemn, but hardly antisocial or prodigal. Above average, he was the one most suited to combat of the three, but Kakashi wouldn't stand for it. He tried to find something that would lead Donyu out of combat and to something more sane, like tracking, or even assassinations, but the average looking shinobi wouldn't budge. _My family as full of shinobi. I can't let everyone else fight and not do so myself. _That was the biggest point of friction between Donyu and the rest of the team; he wanted to fight with the enemy head on, a field ninja that could be on the front lines. Kakashi paled at the thought of him on the front lines. He knew better than anyone the mortality rate of those ninja.

So Kakashi tried to convince Donyu to do anything else. But not only was the kid stubborn, he was also gifted. His ninjutsu were wonderful, and he could take, give, and avoid damage, giving him the base of a regular field ninja. But as time past, Kakashi grew more frantic, looking for that one thing that would put Donyu safe, where Kakashi could care about him, and not worry about him dying. And, voila, one day Kakashi sent him off to learn genjutsu, and the teacher came back at the end of the day, begging to keep Donyu for his gift. It wasn't as good as Kurenai's, but it was close. Kakashi then gave his happiest you-eyed smile, and said to go right ahead, we need more illusionists.

And so the team fell into a routine of happiness. Naruto would always shake his head at Kakashi in private, saying, _You're coddling them worse than Iruka-sensei. They don't know how to fight, and you can't protect them forever. _But Kakashi brushed it off saying that was why he taught them skills that would never require them to fight directly. And Naruto would shake his head and they would reminisce over old times and people, crying and laughing.

So one day, when the sky was high and cloudy, and his team going out to deal with some drug dealers that were moving into fire, Kakashi lost. Two B-class nuke-nin came at them, which the jounin thought he could handle easily enough. But then an A-rank appeared. And while Kakashi could beat him, he needed time, energy, _focus._ And when they three had been dealt with, the third reincarnation continued on their journey. And when they woke up, she was still sleeping. But Kakashi noticed the lack of breath. The stiffness. And he lifted her up, cradling her, with his arms, hoping to God that she was only near death, not actually there. But her eyes were cloudy, like the sky. Her body stiff like the earth. And her ashes, grainy, like the dust. Poison, slow acting, speeding up when your body falls asleep. Damn. And she had so much potential.

Kakashi's eye mists over. He cries openly. To only his two newest students.

Kakashi refused a replacement. He said that a team of three was enough, that one genin wouldn't help finish missions anyway. When they pointed out that the point was to teach them, and that once that was done then they would do important missions, he ignored them. He threw such a fit that Naruto eventually gave in, himself ignoring the protests. If Kakashi wanted to do things like this, Naruto would let him. But as Hokage, Naruto also had a duty to his village, and he brought Kakashi in front of the desk of the Rokudaime Hokage, and told him in no uncertain terms that he was to train them in the arts of killing, to, _at the very least, _protect themselves. Kakashi ignored him.

Then one day, one that was less unassuming than the last, team 9, _because that had changed, _was on a mission to assassinate a samurai head, which would lead to infighting, backstabbing, and a host of other things that would destroy their ability to kill ninjas. But it turned out that one samurai just so happened to have had ninja training. Not some high ranking, well known leader. Not a high ranking guard. Just some random ass idiot that decided to be able to know when a simple genjutsu affected him, _because, really, you don't lower yourself to doing high level genjutsu on samurai._ Donyu just so happened to be a few feet away from the atypical slicer, and in one clean move Donyu's head came off, forever stuck in that pensive position he immortally held in death just as he had in life.

They fled quickly, Kakashi instantly noticing that Donyu's chakra had gone out, and he immediately _moved_ to Donyu's side, only needing a moment to register what had happened. He picked up the body, killed the murderer, and then took his body, all before the other samurai had really noticed. Shimuru had been the spy inside. They changed the plan somewhat to look like the some-number in command had killed the leader, and then been killed himself.

Kakashi grieved horribly for a day. The body of Donyu was burned, his ashes scattered as well. Donyu's killer was not so lucky. His head is still used as a decoration for Kakashi's wall. The rest of his body may be in the jounin lounge or the ANBU headquarters. Its hard to tell.

Years passed. The pretty girl that Shimuru had apparently become his confidant. She became pregnant, and so at four months, when they found out, he proposed to her. Two months after the child was born, they married. Three months later, she was two months pregnant again. Seven months after that she was dead via childbirth. That child was killed too. Shimuru strangled the dead baby, yelling at it _why, why. I want my love back. _

Two days later, he strangled his living baby girl. Then he killed himself.

Kakashi looked at the memorial stone now. Sakura had been added years ago by now. So had Donyu and Hiuma. Shimuru hadn't died a hero, so he wasn't there. Of everyone that had been on his teams, only he and Naruto , he dimly realized that this was his third and last strike. He wanted to beat the living shit out of irony.

_IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES. _Kakashi screams to the heavens. _DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE MOST POWERFUL DEMON SEALED INSIDE YOU TO LIFE THROUGH MY TEAM. WELL FUCK YOU. FUCK ALL YOU GODS. FUCK YOU, SHINIGAMI. I DON'T NEED THIS CRAP._ And so Kakashi collapses on the ground, crying his eyes out. He recognizes that Naruto had arrived, because no one can miss his giant sage, demon, human chakra, but couldn't stop crying even though he promised not to in front of his precious people ever again. Especially the only one he had left.

But Naruto being Naruto, being the most caring being on the entire freaking earth, the Sixth Hokage, came down, and hugged Kakashi. Only a minute passed until the older ninja was back on his feet, relatively dry-eyed. He thanked Naruto, but declined the offer of company. He needed to figure out what to do next in his life. He couldn't take another team. And he couldn't dwell on his old one(s).

A month or two passes. Kakashi is taken off of active duty by Naruto, who know's that he isn't ready to go back. Naruto offers him a job at the academy, saying that he won't lose kids there. But Kakashi declines, saying that its impossible for none of them to die, and he can't deal with much more death, no matter how far removed. Naruto nods, taking that into account on further offers.

Naruto gives him the most unexpected offer. Retirement. Not completely of course, since ninjas never completely retire, but for him to be able to live without going on missions, without teams. Quiet. Happy. Kakashi thinks lonely. He thinks he'll like that.

He retires, leaving his old apartment and going further away from the city center. Naruto visits more often, not wanting him to become a recluse. Kakashi doesn't understand why not. But he enjoys the company of Naruto, likes talking about old times, about Sakura and Sasuke, telling him about Minato, Obito, Rin, Donyu, Hiuma, and Shimuru. Naruto laughs at his stories, and Kakashi enjoys them, even if the cause him to cry afterwards, sometimes in Naruto's presence. He finds some meaning in life by feeling emotional pain nowadays.

But something is up when Kakashi is about forty ('about' because its to hard to remember his birthday when he's oh so tired). Naruto seems somewhat agitated. He misses a visit here and there. And then one day, Naruto makes a speech. Kakashi doesn't go to it, but what he hears about it breaks his heart. The Kyuubi is up to something. Something will happen if the fox keeps living. And the only known way to kill the fox, is to kill Naruto.

He visits again one day. Kakashi cries into Naruto's shirt like a baby, but collects himself and gives Naruto a hug, saying that he hopes everything goes well.

Naruto dies. Suicide. Wouldn't let anyone else do it. He's the only one that can go and make a speech about how he's got to kill himself, do so, and inspire confidence when that happens.

But Kakashi is over forty now. He's lost his last friend, and he's to tired to go on. He's had too many deaths of friends and... Kakashi can't even classify all those people like Gai or Asuma or Anko as anything but friends now, when he's facing death's door.

He takes the broken sword of his father, and uses it to kill himself. But he doesn't commit sepukku. He had honor. He did make something symbolic though. Straight through the heart. For all that he had lost in friends that he loved.

He leaves a note, explaining everything. He made sure that he had a nice will done, and that he had left flowers at the graves of all those important to him.

Then he left the world. He was the last one of all his teams to do so. He wanted to see them when he died.

He wondered if he would.


End file.
